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How to soothe a dragon (why I recommend frogs for all dragons)

Historically, dragons relied on dragonsoothing and other magical and practical remedies

For most of recorded history, dragons have been unable to go to the veterinarian, let alone doctor or dentist, among other human-provided features of modernity. So, dragons had to find another way to get healthcare.

Luckily, so very luckily, there are frogs. 

A frog peers up from inside a pond
If you can be a frog with a butterfly on your head, my thought is, be a frog with a butterfly on your head.

Dragons have a special relationship with frogs.  I know I do with my frog.  

For example, take my best friend, Rana.  She’s a frog.  I met her one day during a roofing accident, but that’s a story for another time. 

After we met, we started going on adventures together.  And during these adventures she revealed that one of her many talents is dragonsoothing. 

What is dragonsoothing?

Dragonsoothing is a collection of skills, talents, and abilities that enable a person to be very good at tending to a dragon’s needs.  It’s sort of like the way a witch has a familiar.  A dragon and a dragonsoother go together just sort of naturally. 

Three benefits of having a dragonsoother:

  • Backscratches.  Dragon scales can get super itchy and there is nothing, literally nothing, better than a nice backscratch. I want a back scratch right now. Just typing this is making my back itchy for a good scratch!!!
  • Snacks.  A dragonsoother knows just what a dragon needs; sometimes that’s a snack.  I once annoyed Rana, totally by accident, when in the middle of an outing to the royal gardens where the dragon-princess peace summit was held, I said “Well, I’m ready for my cookie now.”  It was wishful thinking, but little did I know Rana had bought me a cookie at the snack bar when I wasn’t looking, and she thought that was my way of telling her I knew about it.  No!  I had no idea!  It was amazing.  She just knew I would need a cookie later and she got one for me in advance.
  • Frog medicine.  A variety of healing arts and methods known only to frogs.  Includes protective frog dust (note: no frogs are harmed in the process of manufacturing protective frog dust).  Can be combined with modern techniques.  Heavy emphasis on offering soup. 

Frog medicine in action

Of those three (and the list above just mentions three out of many) benefits of having a dragonsoother, I’d like to focus for a moment on an example of frog medicine in action before wrapping up this post. As a modern dragon, I am proud to say that I have a wonderful frog who provides me with all sorts of frog medicine whenever I need it.   

For instance, just this past weekend I slept funny and when I woke up, my left wing joint was painfully stiff.  Ouch!  

My frog provided a soothing massage and an anti-inflammatory and got me a cold pack.  Oh and she cast some kind of spell, too.   Super helpful!

Another example of frog medicine in action is the pre-swoop administration of protective frog dust.

Due to the coronavirus pandemic, I haven’t been going on quite as many long-range swoops these days. But I used to go on lots of very long swoops.

A raptor swoops through the sky
When swooping through the skies, it is not uncommon to encounter other sky predators, such as this majestic bird of prey.

And each time I was about to go on a long swoop, my dragonsoothing frog would cover me with a pleasant coating of protective frog dust. (Note: no frogs are harmed in the making of protective frog dust! I checked.)

The ritual always felt so nice and loving, and it always kept me safe even while soaring through the stormiest of skies.

So, there you have it; two examples of frog medicine. It’s an awesome kind of dragonsoothing and I highly recommend it.

And if you are considering becoming a dragonfrog, I hope this post was helpful. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you’d like to connect further. As a modern dragon, I am a strong supporter of mentorship opportunities.

Thought experiment: what’s something that you find extremely soothing?

-A MODERN DRAGON

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